4.39

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view Cooks's profile

Cooks
24th Dec 2018, 6:06 AM

Slightly cleaner thumbnail version of this page.
Sorry for the delay and unfinished pages -- I will be working throughout this week to finish 4.38 and 4.39, so there won't be new pages on Dec 29th and 30th, but should resume after that.

I will also take this opportunity to explain the inconsistencies, which I hope will give insight as to why the late updates and unfinished uploads.

TL;DR version: I'm in a rut and working on it.

Story: I've been struggling with severe depression (among other things) for over a decade. I couldn't take medication regularly until sometime in 2013, and I didn't stabilize until 2015, which is around the time I started this comic. I took a year to work on something else, and then on 2016 I dedicated my time on this comic. I was able to keep a schedule and worked on it everyday in some capacity. I wanted some material to be available before going public, while having a sizable buffer.

After going public in the beginning of 2018, I was maintaining a schedule and kept creating new pages. I wanted the updates to be consistent and build reader trust. This is the "main site" of the comic, so I share this to people who don't necessarily have a Comicfury or Tapas account.
Around mid-2018 however, my depression became deep and persistent again, which was upsetting to me because I thought I had overcome it. My schedule fell apart, and I've been having episodes and overwhelming anxiety. The buffer eventually caught up to the point that I'm crunching each week to deliver the updates.

Recently, I went on a short hiatus to build a buffer again, thinking at the time that I was able to stave off the depression and anxiety. However, I fell into a spiral again, and drained the buffer again.

When appropriate, I try my best to upload unfinished versions so there's something to look at while I try to finish.
There are some things I want to make clear: Despite the inconsistent uploads, I still strive to update over the weekend (I can't always make it, but I'm not giving up yet), and I won't be abandoning this comic (unless something goes really wrong).
This is a story I've been working on for a long time, and I spend most of my time musing on the themes and making edits. There's a distinct beginning, middle, and end. I'm excited to get to some parts of the story, which will take a weird turn soon.
I want to say thank you to those who have been sticking around, and checking over the weekend. I'm sorry it has been like this.

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Users

view Eli Cosmanis's profile

Eli Cosmanis
24th Dec 2018, 8:32 PM

I like reading your comic.

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view Cooks's profile

Cooks
29th Dec 2018, 7:12 PM

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that.

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view xwindows's profile

xwindows
27th Dec 2018, 2:18 AM

That's okay, stay strong.

It's always fascinating when reading comics around psychological issues; things in people's head got depicted differently in every story, sometimes in a very interesting way.

P.S. I'm using using RSS newsreader, so I don't exactly "check on" your comic (though many people do it that way). See you on the next post.

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Cooks
29th Dec 2018, 7:26 PM

I enjoy psychological stories! Throughout high school I was into psychology but couldn't take a class on it, so I read books and articles. Recent years that has shifted into neuroscience.

Thank you for letting me know! I haven't thought there would be someone using RSS.

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ColdFusion
31st Dec 2018, 8:43 PM

Sounds like you need some hugs, duder. Nice thing about that particular treatment, there's no side-effects and the treatment costs are low. Hope you've got a dispensary near you, otherwise know we're all sending that shit in your direction.

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view NiaNook's profile

NiaNook
8th Jan 2019, 10:16 AM

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with blues. Nothing fun about it, but I hope things brighten up for you. No worries about comic updates. People burn out and need breaks all the time.

Also, aww, I'm happy David's going to talk to this girl :D

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